What’s your story?
What’s the story you keep telling yourself over and over?
Listen to the Podcast
Have you heard yourself saying things like
I have…..
I’m the one with….
I’m going to…..
I’m my …….son , daughter
And what do you make the story mean about you and those around you?
Things like:
I’m broken
I’m just like….
I’m not able to….
I’m not sure if…..
I’m not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, well enough,
Or
It’s their fault,
It’s because….
I always have and I always will
Things never go right for me, us, them.
My mother said
My father said
My family said
My doctor said
The nurse said
The therapist said
These are all external influences that constantly barrage us each and every day.
We make events mean something about ourselves and other people. Nothing has meaning until we give it meaning and the meanings we give to something constructs our own realities and our own identities.
The same event may happen to many people and each person will make the event mean something,
Maybe you or someone close to you has been diagnosed with a medical condition. You can make it mean some of the following things:
Bad things always happen to me/my family, I have the support around me to help me through this time Ok so this is what’s happening. How can I help myself and those I love?
Our unconscious mind is always on the lookout to collect evidence to support our identity and to protect us. It is always right and the story we tell ourselves about who we are and what we tell others about ourselves has to support the story.
Whatever the self talk is in our heads, we set off a cascade of chemicals from our brain into our bodies, affecting how we think and feel.
Some stories may be about PTSD, depression, anxiety, medical conditions.
We say I am depressed, making it part of our identity. Or we relive a trauma and over, releasing stress hormones.
Our mind thinks it is actually happening as it can’t tell what is real now and what is in the past or projecting into the future. And you’ll know when these chemicals are set off in your body because you’ll have a physical reaction to them.
It is in your head, but it’s not ALWAYS in your head. It’s body and mind working together. Some people have aches and pains , heart palpitations, breathlessness which may become chronic for people who have not sought help.
So if the story you’re telling yourself isn’t working for you anymore then maybe it’s time to think about how you want things to be instead.
What can you change and what actions do you need to make, a little bit at a time, so that your unconscious mind feels safe so that you can start the process of change that serves you and the life you want to lead?
Next time I’ll be talking about the stories we tell ourselves.