Hello, I’m Shayne Sullivan and welcome to the next episode of After The Waiting Room.
Have you ever promised yourself that you’d do something or think you should do something and then not follow through?
It’s so frustrating isn’t it?
I mean, you get all enthusiastic about something and think it will be fabulous when you’ve accomplished whatever you’ve promised yourself to do, but after a while, the enthusiasm wanes and it’s never completed or only partially completed.
We then berate ourselves and think less of ourselves, labeling ourselves as weak, soft, a procrastinator, a loser, can’t be trusted, and the list goes on.
Listen to the Podcast
Promises to ourselves may be things like:
Exercise to stay healthy, study,
Reading a book or finishing a book,
Taking time to sing, dance, meditate,
Or write that book that you know is hiding inside you, or thinking and writing up the next podcast!
Some things may be simple and easy to achieve and other promises may be more complex and take longer to achieve.
I think these are the ones that seem to lose their shine and the ones we beat ourselves up about when we don’t achieve them.
So maybe what’s missing is a variety of activities such as rewards when we break the promise up into doable parts so it doesn’t seem to be overwhelming.
People don’t climb mountains all at one time.
There are rests in between, time to recalibrate, time to have some fun and time to plan the next move to continue on.
Our unconscious mind is like that 3 year old.
If it’s not fun, or if it’s perceived as being too hard it will eventually sabotage you and sometimes even before you begin!
Our minds like some variety in our lives and it is one of our six core needs.
So it stands to reason that if we sneak in some variety and rewards for ourselves for completing a promise or getting through something that has to be done, then we have a much better chance of achieving our goals or getting through hard times.
I treat a lot of people with Lymphoedema, cancer, and results of injuries and surgeries.
It is a painful stuck state.
You literally can’t move some days from the pain and the restricted movement resulting from the swelling of tissues and the tightening of scar and irradiated tissue.
Treatment for any of these conditions can be uncomfortable and overwhelming.
The conditions of themselves make you very tired.
The fact that your body has made a massive change can become very depressing.
Some people may become very anxious about going out because of the discomfort and the way their appearance may have altered affecting their sense of identity.
Building in little rewards for yourself may be the way to complete treatment or other tasks that may be unpleasant in recovery.
In the case of cancer treatment or Lymphoedema treatment, it’s very important to build in rewards at different stages, things that are attainable but are fun to do and feeds our sense of worth.
It could be a little purchase for yourself, a visit to the theatre or a day out with friends or even a little getaway that doesn’t require too much organising and stress.
Make it as easy and simple as possible so that there’s a sense of flow from task to reward to task again, looking forward to another reward.
It is so important to see yourself or someone you love seeing themselves in future events.
The planning for the reward is half the fun.
And of course you know you’re worth it!
I often talk about people’s best holiday they’ve had and to tell me about their favourite place they have visited.
The really neat thing about doing this is that the unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not.
So when we talk about a favourite holiday or one that’s being planned, the unconscious mind can think it’s already there.
I notice when I do this with people who are very flat in their treatment stages.
There is a shift in their emotional state because their mind is firing off all the great hormones that give us a sense of well-being and ease.
I will then ask them if they’d like to be able to access these wonderful emotional states anytime they like.
If the answer is yes, then I assist them to anchor these feelings for them.
This means they can access these feelings at other times when they are feeling they need the extra support to get them through a tough time.
So, next time we’ll do some anchoring so that you can have a little variety and the emotions that go with it any time you like.