Whoa! Slow down!
Last time I talked about the story or stories we unconsciously tell ourselves about who we are and about how we make things and events mean something.
We collect evidence that will support our story because our unconscious mind needs to be right.
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I also talked about how our unconscious mind and our body set off chemicals.
Chemicals such as serotonin , our happy hormone, dopamine which calms our system, endorphins which are our pain killers and lots more which are released when we have a body treatment to relax us, or when we imagine a place that which calms us, connecting with nature, listening to our favourite music, and concentrating on our breath.
Breathing in and breathing out.
It always brings us back to the now.
But we also have our fight or flight mechanism which releases other chemicals such as adrenaline, cortisol, to get us ready for the fight ahead.
This happens under high stress, worries about people or circumstances out of our control.
Breathing in and breathing out, brings us back to the now.
We’re only aware of it, when we become fearful or when feelings of being threatened by something, that may not even be real, physically or emotionally. That automatic or autonomic responses suddenly appear out of nowhere.
For example, our quick automatic reflexes come into play when we see a big, no sorry, an ENORMOUS hairy spider on the wall near us.
Giving ourselves some space.
Whether real or imagined worries, our unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference.
What we perceive, will set off these chemicals depending on what we make things mean.
Remember the 3-year old which can be resistant to change if it feels unsafe, especially if our headspace gets crowded with unnecessary worries.
It’s time to really concentrate on yourself and your own wellbeing.
Practicing mindfulness, being in the now.
Ask ”How do I want to BE through all of this?”, remembering other tough times you got through.
“Who was it who got me through that time?” – Me
And who did I accept assistance from then? – people I trust.
Yesterday, I popped in to see if one of the patients on the ward wanted a massage.
He had been enjoying the massages and it seemed to really help with his pain levels. He always seemed very calm and measured and self-assured when speaking with him.
However, yesterday was very different.
He said, “Not today, I’m not feeling up to it, I’m a bit flat”.
So, I just sat down to spend a little more time with him.
He wasn’t flat. He was exhausted and anxious. He explained that he was feeling very overwhelmed by everything. There was too much going on and I asked him what he meant.
He said he felt he was losing it, worrying about himself, his treatment, and his family. He was usually very even and calm especially around his family and he said he was like that so they wouldn’t worry about how he was really feeling.
He’d had enough. He couldn’t hide how he felt any more.
I told him about the other fellow who had a couple of meltdowns and I had explained to him that it was this fellow’s unconscious mind wanting to get out.
He was angry about his circumstances and afraid too and the unconscious mind was not feeling safe. His mind was not convinced that sticking around for treatment was a good idea.
I also explained about the body, mind separation a lot of people go through, that they disassociate from their bodies when unpleasant procedures are being constantly performed on them.
It’s a way of coping at the time but then there’s a disconnect when feeling and emotions are pushed down to remain brave in other people’s eyes.
We become more anxious and lost.
That’s where my therapy comes in.
I assist people to reconnect with their bodies and to trust in it again.
So while we were talking I explained what happened to me straight after my surgery. I was still organising the clinic the morning after!
I was worried about work, about my family and the pain post-surgery wasn’t much fun either. I couldn’t relax and I was exhausted but putting on the bravest of faces. I knew that I should have been resting instead of checking emails calling people. I knew I had to change my timeline.
Just then my phone rang and it was my mentor, Jo.
She said “What are you doing on the phone! I think it’s time for you to change your timeline miss and get some rest.”
So I did exactly that!
Yes, she’s a mind reader too!
When we accept the actual situation at hand AND accept assistance if and when we need it, it will give our unconscious mind the certainty it needs to keep on track with treatment, stay connected and avoid meltdowns.
Next time, I’ll be talking about timelines and how to use them.
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